PSP

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Its s season of breakups again.
I never liked the idea of relationships that didn't last till marriage.
I coined them as "short-termed relationships"
But who'd have entered a relationship if they know it wouldn't have lasted in the first place?
It sure did feel very good during the start.
So did it for awhile later.
And many other times following.
But what really mattered at the end was the end of the relationship.
In every race, its the finishing that makes the record into history.
Thats why maybe in the start we should have listened to our elder counselors.
Oh wait, since when did he/she have one?
Ah.. nobody was there for him/her.
Possible.
Or somebody had been there, and tried to help, but he/she was proud.
Too proud to be humbled to listen, to obey.
Too afraid to open up and be accountable.
Maybe its the counselor also.
Can he/she be trusted?
Has he/she been proven faithful?
Does he/she know what to do or how to give wise counsel?
The harvest is plentiful, but the labourers are few.
Who are willing to be trained to fill the void?
It's going to take alot, but it'll be worth it.
Brethren, my heart's desire and prayer to God is that they may be saved.
For I bear them witness that they have a zeal for God, but not according to knowledge.
For they being ignorant of God's righteousness, and seeking to estalish their own righteousness, have not submitted to the righteousness of God.
For Christ is the end of the law for righteousness to everyone who believes.
That if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.
For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.
For the scripture says, "Whoever believes on Him will not be put to shame."
For "Whoever calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved."
How then shall they call on Him when they have not believed?
And how shall they believe in Him of whom they have not heard?
And how shall they hear without a preacher?
And how shall they preach unless they are sent?
As it is written: "How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the gospel of peace, who bring glad tidings of good things!"
But they have not all obeyed the gospel.
So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God.
I was found by those who did not seek Me.
I was made manifest to those who did not ask for Me.
And the main reason.
All day long I have stretched out My hands to a disobedient and contrary people.

What is love?
Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.

When you say you LOVE, does it include all these?
If it doesn't why use the word?

Did you say it just for fun? Was it for the thrill of a feel then?
How are your words valued now?
Who would ever believe them anymore?

Nothing is free.
Everything comes with a price that someone has to pay, is paying or has already paid.

So don't live your life like everything is free to you.
Trace the cost. Learn its Value.
Its like parents always tell us, we're still young and don't know the value of money yet.
What about the value of words? a life of someone else?
Someone sacriiced something down the road.
Who was it? And what did they sacrifice? What IS the value of that thing?
Oh, if people could just see and understand.

Right. Not everyone plays by the rules.
Thinking of it, true freedom is only found when you play within the boundaries of the rules.
Just imagine how nice, cool, awesome, glorious, happy, exciting, amazing and (every other good word) a relationship can be if both playeres followed this definition of love.
But its because people try to find freedom by going against the rules, which then brings lying, insecurity, loss of trust, closing up your heart.
What then is the purpose of getting into a relationship?
Here's an example. Ever heard of married patners keeping secret bank accounts?
Why is there a need in the first place. Explore that and find the root, think about it.

Who's committed to bring the change?
Are you?
If you are, know that I'm in with you as I've always been.

~~
Oh BTW, talking about RO, I maxed my character's level yesterday.
Lvl 255! He's powerful now man.

You won! 2:24 AM

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Wosh. just came back from Ghost Rider with Ken.
Awesome! super cool! haha.

Here's Leadership files again, in the email.
Read it, love it.

THINKING

Quote - 'God has given us a ... a sound mind.' - 2 Tim 1:7

Hi, I'm Phil Pringle
You're going to love this;

God asks for your heart, not your head.
Keep your head. You Use it.
You have sound reason, good judgement and clear discernment.
Make great decisions.
Think with your head, not your heart.
Feel with your heart, not with your head.
Don't let the two become confused.
A warm heart and a cool head work well together.
Don't let your heart become cool and your head become hot.

HAHA! Ghost rider has a hot head. Lol~

You won! 2:03 AM

Friday, February 23, 2007

I though i wanted to add a neutralizing post to my previous post on giving money..haha. but its okay cant be bothered to do so now.

Well, I've been resting at home, having funy sleeping and waking times. Because of games. yeah. like i got so tired i fell asleep on my parent's bed at about 6pm till about 11+ then just went back to my room after a small meal to continue sleeping till 545 this morning.
Its interesting how i always wake up just afew seconds before my sister's alarm sounds, or even my own when i set it. haha. there's more than the natural world we live in. so don't be so niave. haha.

So i was supposed to drive my siblings to school. but since the whole family was already awake, we all went out. I went for lunch with parents in town. haha. some famous lor mee at tiong bahru. shiok. there was like sharks meat. haha.

Now i'm home resting. Dad's given me a job. so that will be what i'm going to do this holiday. complete it well. haha.

oh..and did i mention in my previous post? In RO i'm a high priest now..think level 120+..ah.cant remember.haha.

Here's the character page. look nice? how can i make him nicer?

At this level and this server, the drops are crazy. just cant be bothered to take them all. haha

this is a nightmare approaching..all that mons are guna swarm you and kill you if u dun run..haha

thats all for now.

You won! 8:59 AM

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Aah... its day 3 of the new year. Good morning world.

Day 2 was really nothing much. My siblings and i all woke up around 5pm. Super extreme. Everyone slept late.

So the day was all messed. went to eat at WM at 9pm, that was the only meal.

and till now, i can't seem to fall asleep. so i just gave up trying.
Bro's happily sleeping away. Maybe i'll be able to sleep later.

Oh well, at least today we're going for a gathering, so it'll be a better day I hope.

We've been playing RO. We found another server that's insane. Within 2days, I'm High Priest. thats about 180 or 190 levels. HAHA. Style.

I'll upload some screenshots below.

Ah..a pic of my angpows.. haha.. man, i haven't even opened them till now. can't be bothered.

This was taken at giordano in west mall. just found it funny that this girl was looking silly, smiling in the picture. Bor, sis and I stood there, and came up with some rather hilarious comments. I wonder whats the purpose of this ad. Lol.
And btw, the store's clearing at 60% off. cool eh.

Here's the RO screenshot.
This is one of the bosses. haha. that ghost thing is powerful. and so many of them together..phew..

This is the boss in the snow place. can't remember the name. haha. also died from it.

Then, this is on CNY's eve. the AnimaRO server is usually about 1000+ people. but from that night onwards, it was 2400+ till today. and i think the server crashed or something. it was just impossible to get in. so we switched servers. Muahaha

Seems like whenever there's an overwhelm, everybody will die. haha. These are Orc zombies, and red and normal bats. They attack automatically. its a challenge to stay alive.

As for this, its another king monster. this is Glast Heim's graveyard. quite high level place.

Another shot.

This is the Lava Golem at Magma dungeon. Isaac killing it. haha.
And oh! this is the new server! see, I'm a transcendant acolyte, means i finished my first level from novice to priest, and now i reset it and start as high novice. this is when i'm High Acolyte. Now, i'm High priest already. Cool eh! haha.

Right.. thats all for the pics now.
Sis is just leaving home, she's going to sentosa with jon. power right.
And its so quiet everywhere around. the streets downstairs are pretty empty. haha. good. for once i dont have to bother with all the noise.

You won! 7:23 AM

Monday, February 19, 2007

Happy new year!

This year there wasnt much of a new year mood until maybe new years eve.

The day passed pretty fast too.

I wonder why.

Looking back at some pictures I took, seems like it was a repeat of last year.

Pretty much, just that there are more new couples, more married couples, more babies and little kids running around.

And a simple count and comparison showing that few more of my senior relatives getting diseased and feeble. It wasn't many years ago when I remembered they were aggressively debating issues over glasses of beer. Now they just sit in a corner quietly and blend into the wall.

Does new year really bring joy? or does it just amplify the agony for some people. People that have had a bad year, and almost no relatives notice them during reunion. Or unsure about how to present their feeble sickly state to the rest of the relatives only to repeat their condition verbally in compassion everytime they see someone, and this might not be the first year they've asked. And not to forget, forget it until 365 days later, or at a funeral.

Sometimes I wonder if they have any true friends to be there for them during these times? or are they just suffering quietly on the inside and struggling to survive. Who then will listen to them? who then will help them?

Somehow they seem to appear safe and sound again every year. What are they living for? is there something they're looking for that no matter how hard they try or long they wait they still can't find? what is the meaning of life? do they live a happy life?

Oh well, I guess one very important key is about money. There are 2 kinds of givers and 2 kind of recievers.
Lets talk about the recievers first.
When you recieve a generous gift, you'll be happy. probably.
But really, the difference is about how you view the gift. If you're over calculative and keep complaining about what you should have gotten or who should have given more, then you might be missing the real point. This is the sulky reciever.
The happy reciever is different. He see's the money as tokens of love from the giver. A token reresenting joy and happiness.

Then the givers.
One giver gives out of neccesity. This giver will check the amount that was given to their children, get the average amount and return it exactly. Missing the point of giving altogether. Or the he will strategise the giving to get an economic gain that season. These are often the aggressively competitive and bitter people.
The other giver looks at the people they're giving to, and his heart is overcomed with love. The precious ones they know in their life. Seeing the giving as sowing an investment into their future. The money might or might not last long, but the love lasts forever. The relationship strengthened and reinforced by the love lasts a lifetime and leaves a legacy for many others to come.

I've seen and observed. While also personally looking for true fulfillment and happiness in relationships, I've realised that this pattern works.

Stingy and calculative people, who don't see the significance and meaning in the money end up sad people. And they potentially make others sad too, or even defensive in the relationship. And when you cannot trust, you close up. Thats also when the closeness and intimacy of relationships start to detiorate. Many people say trust is the foundation to relationships. But not remembering that their actions in fact also do speak louder than words. Ask yourself, which makes you happier? Money or relationship?

I've had relatives over the years, that I know spend big money on betting, gambling and lotteries. They brag about lottery numbers, lucky strikes, big winnings. When it comes to cny, their adorned in gold or the newest gadgets, dressed in the best clothing, but with gifts of love often come with an insincere phrase "happy new year", weak handshake and 1 second of eye contact before handing you a red packet while looking to the next person. Inside, it's also a gift that is half dead.
Today, they are looking miserly as ever, sad as ever, biased and proud as ever. Where is the place of relationships in their life? compared to money? I wonder if their friends are friends just because of the money. What about their ways of getting the money? Were people counted of as less value than profits?

Then I saw another side, close to home. One of my uncle, the sole breadwinner of his family, suffered a stroke 2yrs ago and hasn't been able to work since. But his brothers have been generously supporting him financially every month. Look at this family this year. You see the true joy and happiness in everyone. You feel the gratefulness or relationships in the air. Everybody's somehow knitted together even tighter than before because of the giving. A family that seemed to be falling apart once, is now restored, and comes together in even bigger numbers, thats sheer power.

Another real example here.
On the other side of my relatives, it has always been the custom to give only $4 standard. It has been ever since I was born I guess. The kids knew what to expect, and weren't very thrilled. It was the same and boring things and food every year. Then one year, I decided it was time for a breakthrough. I knew that if I could break the tradition and make people give more, they will be blessed too. with happiness, and of course, what you sow is what you reap. A generous heart will be made rich. So 2 years ago, I managed to talk my parents into giving $6 or $8 per person instead. It was an awkward situation for us when they realised we gave more than the others. But I was confident that the seed sown would eventualy bring forth fruits in the future.
True enough, things changed alot this year. All the families seem to have become richer. Judging from their dressing, their new furniture, their increased frequency of smiles, everybody seems happier. Both the recievers and the givers. The angpow dollar has been upped, no doubt, but what was reaped above that? The joy and happiness in the relationships, not of casual friends, but of relatives, of whom are blood related and what I call My Family.
Oh, not to mention, the food too tasted much better this year! yum yum. everything! haha.

Some verses.
Mark 8:36
For what shall it profit a man if he shall gain the whole world and lose his own soul?

Pro 15:27
He who is greedy for gain troubles his own house, but he who hates bribes shall live.

Pro 22:1
A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches; and loving favor rather than silver or gold.

And there's one of my favourite verses that I can't remember where it is. But I remember that it says to use the riches God has put into your hands as a tool to bless others. something like that. Haha.

Phew, it's been a long post, and a long day.
I shall end off with some pictures.

Preparations for the steamboat reunion dinner.

See all the happy faces?

More..haha

Ahh..look at that...

Muahaha. alright..its just sparkling juice.

Lao Yu Sen. thats my sis! haha.

Then the next morning, again.

Lao ah lao ah..

hahaha

Ahh..see that block in the middle? thats where I lived from 0yrs old till about 8yrs old. Fond memories of that place. It was the 25th floor. the top floor. unit on the right. cool eh? I would be able to see malaysia's mountains from my kitchen window.Wow. I just realised, it is almost 2 times the height above the other older blocks. even the newer blocks aren't as tall.

Here's my little cousin, Joyden. Amused by balloons this year. And my uncle has already secured a place for him under David's drum instruction in the future. haha.

Look! ballet poses come natural. hahaha.

Alright thats all..happy new year once again.. I'm tired..zzz

You won! 1:15 AM

Friday, February 16, 2007

ever seen a rabbit this huge? hahaha

Another one for the arty people. i've seen HX draw these on paper. haha. how bou a coridoor?

Nice ad huh. haha. check out the departure date.

this is so cool. i think he bought 2 cars, modded both and cut one up. haha

HUGE! haha. in singapore i've only seen them tow the smaller version.

the website i took this from says, "waiting for tsunami" WAHAHA!!!

Aint that cute? haha

You won! 7:58 PM

check this out. it was done in MS Paint. haha. to those art school people, i think u would be good enough to do this. haha. it's always been on my mind whether someone could make nice pics using just ms paint. cool man..

Click it to enlarge.

Well well, exams are officially over.
actually they've been since 2 days ago, on valentines day.
As for the blaw paper. yeah, it went pretty well.
I managed to memorise quite a number of facts that helped me alot in the exam.
And for all the papers, i realise the teachers really give major tips on whats coming up. Just have to study those. That usually happens during the revision lecture, or revision notes posted online. So study smart! or just simply get a few past year papers and spot whats coming up. haha.
And so, exams are over.

I didn't sleep the night before blaw. I kinda went on for like more than 24hrs. from waking up 3pm that previous day, through the night, till 10pm the next day. Wow. thats 24 + 7 = 31hrs non stop! Of course, that gave my body a severe chemical inbalance. I think I could have crashed and slept anywhere and anytime.
But i chose to go out and celebrate instead. I arranged to meet with My beloved "god sister". (i don't get what "god sibling" means till now. and i dun like the way its being used. but i just use it anyway, till i find a better word.)
So it was an interesteing day with a couple of other people that somehow came along too. we had fun.

And what have I been doing since?
I've been playing Ragnarok Online. An online gme introduced by my classmates in sec1 or 2, when computers first came into the school. Remember those days where we had free access, and we'd all rush in to use the computers. We played that game for free, and it's popularity spread like wild fire. And soon they wanted us to pay 2 play. so we all ceased playing except for some who were willing to pay. of course, new games came up, but there were fond memories.
So, sometime before my exams, my classmate Janet introduces me that server, saying its her way of destress during the exam period. COOL! i mean, Private server, free, and that game that i so miss!! In the past, download for that game was only 500mb. and it's become 1.2gb since. crazy huh. it took me the whole night to download, but it sure paid off. Today, i'm a level 63 priest. thats 3 levels up. from Novice > Acolyte > Priest. and when i hit level 99, i'm going to become a High priest. Muahaha.
So as you can percieve by now, that's what i've been up too.
if u wanna play too, go download and register first at AnimaRO.com then let me know! i'll train you and game with you! haha.

Dad wants me to start working soon. haha. complete his company website that i started working on since 6mths ago? haha. but i'm still not satisfied with the quality of the site. The template isn't up to my expetations. i'll try again.
But i've just finished my exams! and i wanna have some fun first right. haha.

okay. its picture time again!!

My first chicken essence mom brought to me. That was for my CMA paper. I kinda prefer brand's taste now.

See..brands sits at the corner.

This is Frisky during breakfast. It was fish porridge bought hot from the stall and served right to my bed. Such awesome parents I have. haha. remember the previous pic of her like that? that was during dinner few hours before. haha.

And so, a picture of the hall after the paper.

We meet again to study two nights before the FMGT paper. And LP wears the same colour as the chair once again. previously it was at swensens. and after this, it was at another mac which she didn't allow us to take a pic of her.

She goes to sleep just as we start to study. haha.

Jelly beans taken by steph cos she liked them..

Ah, the 3 of us again, after the FMGT paper. I look weird don't I? hmm...

And so, this is the night of BLAW. thats Joshua on the msn, studying through the night also.

Happy Birthday. cos i ontroduced it to XF and she wanted to watch. so as a end of exam celebration, i watched it again. but it was just okay this time.

XF and her soup. Man, she's so different from who I knew her as 4yrs ago.

And this is her best friend? SH. We were at PizzaHut Bukit Batok. some place that i knew existed but never aactully went there before. and the curry baked rice we all ate. YUCK. compared to the one at Pastamania. mmmm... i shall not go back to PizzaHut. in fact, i've found better pizzas. Rocky's pizza!

And that's all for now. no more pics to post. haha. ah... maybe some game screenshots. lemme check..

3 novices, all looking the same. haha. that was very long ago.
look carefully, level 12.

ahh. i got killed by this crowd of monsters.
level 58

and yet again. this time, by zombies. my friends are dead too.
Level 59

And this is ultimate. super big monster. a boss i think. immediate death. haha.
Level 61

Thats all for now!!

Gin just msned me proclaiming her exams are over!! haha.
Grats Gin!!!

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

This dog is style huh..haha.
creative owner.

You won! 11:37 PM

tired tired tired..

FMGT paper was good. I decided to stay up to study despite leepeng's "order" not to. haha.

but i mean, when u're not confident u know everything, u'll want to go thru it at least once right. thats what i did.

And so when i did the paper in the morning, it was good. could do all the questions.. except one weird question. that was accounting man, not finangial management. horrible.

one last paper, blaw.
all the way yeah...

Monday, February 12, 2007

Wosh...its 2:56 AM..

just came home from studying at mac again.

in 6 hours time, it'll be my FMGT paper.

Man, i think i need to study abit more.

Dad's not fetching, cos he has something on early in the morning.

so he asked me to take a cab to schol myself.

well, once fmgt is done, then comes blaw on wed.

These 2 i'm less worried, because I did well in the projects.

Should be okay...

Regarding cell and stuff, ah.. don't wanna be bothered.
feels like its all in a mess.
and smack in the middle of my exams,
stuff my mind with another major thing to think about?
its stupid.

You won! 2:49 AM

Friday, February 09, 2007

Time now is 5:28 AM.
bcack from toilet break.
and I have 1 more topic to go.
I just measured the height of the table. its 75cm.
Adding my height of 1.8m
The floor to ceiling of my room would be..
2.55m.

and so, after climbing up the table to re-confirm that I fit nicely,
i jumped down unto my mattress, and hit my hand on the guitar case.
ahh..minor skin abrasion. flap of skin hanging out from the nuckle of my right little finger.
blood is starting to seep out. haha.

back to studying.

You won! 5:28 AM

Wow!! its 5:00 AM!!!
Time is flying like crazy!!
It's been 1hr30min from my previous post, and it seemed like 30mins!
I'm doing good.
3 hours left only.
All the way David!!

Haha. amid the stress.
Its 3:27 AM. I just took my bath.
2 more topics to cover.
Gotta leave home at 8am. paper's at 9am.
Thats another 4 hours left.
I shall post some pictures.

This is my workplace. yes, my sleeping place too. as you can tell, I'm not planning to sleep tonight. to take this, I had to climb up onto my table.

And so here I am. Standing on the table, my head touches the ceiling. I'm 1.8m. wonder how high the table is. haha.

And from where my eyes are, this is what I see.

This was during dinner. Parents dabao-ed back home for me, and i got Isaac to bring it to my room. I think I hardly left this nest of mine. except maybe to go to the toilet. hardcore eh. Didn't go downstairs even! hmm..first time in m life.

This was last night. The mac was in the CNY mood. all those red lantern decos. And lo and behold. Leepeng was in red too. Steph's red bag and purse, and my red file. so they all qualified for a CNY picture.

Here's LP after 5 hours of study. crashed. I was still so wide awake, maybe because of the Ice blended mocha I drank.haha.

These are beloved cousins Pearl and Joyce. Pearl somehow crashing at the sofa, not knowing of our unannounced visit. That was on monday evening I think.

Haha. I'm feeling happy. for some reason. maybe because I feel top of the world standing on my table? maybe its the wonderful wind that i always enjoy? haha. Lovely!! maybe its because i feel so fresh now after my bath? ahahaha. good good.. back to study...