Tuesday, February 28, 2006
my heart has been pulverised.
and through the din of the day,
i've been in languor..
You won! 11:06 PM
this room of mine just seems different..
this house just seems different..
this neighbourhood seems different..
even after living in it all these years...
its just me..
hai...
day is better for me..
its bright n sunny...
but i still don't feel better if i stay home..
and going out? who's that free to go with me?
night is dark..
time where all the bad feelings come back..
so i should sleep earlier...
but when i wake up early, i'm left with a whole longer day alone..
and my pals are only online at night..
well..not always..
i guess i need to make more day time pals...
great..now i have one day free..
i have no papers tomorrow.
at least i get a little free time..
i'm now reading the book which i started 2weeks ago...
i'm learning so much from it.
looks like i really have got alot more to work on in my life..
life ain't just for cruising thru man.
gotta take effort to grow up in different areas in your life..
like..character?
attitude?
social?
personal?
studies?
and lotsa stuff...
someday i'm gonna be a perfect matured gentleman.
haha..
okay.. at least i'll try...
i'm workin at it..
if u aren't i'm already one step ahead of you!
hahaha
na.. God, here i am..
mould me!! haha
what can i say...
its just my thoughts running wild..
the wound's much better..
but still hurts abit..
so much less..
talking really didn't do much good.
i'll wait..
theres always a right time, right place, right thing, right person..
i'm gonna go to sleep now..
zzz
studying for the exam paper tired me out..
i prayed to God to send me someone who could help.
send me the right person who would understand..
and God did.
Has anybody got a true friend other than Jesus?
i have one!
this person's a fan of my blog but never tags.
totally annonymous here..
but totally concerned..
lives very far away..
but touched my heart..
this person is very quiet.
yet sounded the loudest in this silence.
What a friend.
What a friend.
a precious gift from God.
Thanks Shien..Thanks..
you're the first whom i can talk with at my level.
whom i can share with and you understand.
whom i have learnt what a true friend really is.
i don't remember anyone having this much energy for me coming out of concern..
at least its been a long while since i last felt that..
:)
*of cos i'm not saying the rest of you are not true friends..
just that this one's more true..
and somemore proven, with chop. comfirmed.
hahahah!!
Monday, February 27, 2006
yucks..
that crappy feeling creeps back..
whats the problem with it man..
i guess i just need time..
lots of time..
You won! 7:00 PM
phew..
i'm happy!!
cool!!
i plugged in my mp3.
hillsongs..
chc..
on the way to exam.
and i immediately felt better!!
haha.. the depressing feeling left me..
the pain left me..
i was just feeling light..
smooth..
clear..
whatever..
hahaha!!
and i just played along with about 2hrs of drums.
i feel so different now.
just plain happy.
so peaceful.
i can even smile now!
haha..
man..how do i get alive again...
this sucks..
i'm tired
sad
and i need to study for my papers..
arrghh...
hai...
help me to heal.
give me a miracle!
i don't want all this..
i still want my friend!
i still want my friend!
ARRGH!!!!!
what a fool
u think all that theory and methods will heal someone?
will u give a solution?
talking on in circles helps?
not at all.
but all it does is aggravate,
and confuse.
Just being understanding.
Just being there.
and just shutting up to listen,
makes a whole lot of difference.
what an ignorance.
what a mistake.
but now i understand.
ouch..
i'm taking the full toll.
deny it all i want,
it works out to all the same..
crushed.
stabbed.
left to die at the sidewalk..
and only someone came to help.
what a true friend.
still..
who lives in this world with me?
do i need to innitiate to be helped?
i've been helping people all my life.
but when i truely need help...
who do i run to?
who runs to me?
no one it seems..
its okay.. don't bother asking me now..
its too late..
think about it next time..
if there ever is next time..
i used to think everbody should have a purpose to live for.
no matter what they feel
they'd still be okay.
and still fight on.
but when i'm in it myself,
i realise.
what a fact it really is.
whats there to look to?
a fog immediately comes.
and u can't see no more..
u're lost where u're heading.
the purpose seems gone.
and u just walk in aimless circles.
its like this.
you're returning home after hiding from a war,
you're hoping to resume life like it was.
u look from far.
you see a flat ground.
no houses left.
no people left.
desolate.
and now what to do?
where to go?
all there was is no more.
what is it from now on..
life has no meaning anymore.
a strong heart it used to be.
now torn and leaked.
how would it ever be mended.
when would it ever have the capacity again.
only Jesus can.
Psa 147:3 He heals the broken-hearted, and binds up their wounds.
Sunday, February 26, 2006
well..
sometimes u tend to have this reason and that..
decisions seem alright to bear for awhile..
untill the reality of the change strikes..
full force..
ouch!!..
but then again.
look to the reasons.
benefits.
and think..
it was for good.
theres more ahead to be done.
its not a one time thing..
its guna take time..
time to repair..
time to heal..
i dunno whats ahead..
but i do have a vision.
and i hope it comes to pass.
congeniality is a bonus.
love never fails.
friendship hopes for a future.
-~-
today service was good..
calling..
phew.. big word man..
gotta get perked up again..
meditate on it and let it grow on me..
get me all pumped up..
i really wonder how..
but with God all things are possible.
i believe!
-~-
Bye sandy once again..
We all will miss u..
study hard..
do your best!
we'll go celebrate when you're back.
in your new jaguar!
-~-
Esplanade..
nice rooftop garden..
was some fun.
nice picnic.
great scenery.
and stones.
it rained the last time..
-~-
Quotes
"Give every failure and problem to Jesus, & He'll change it into something good beautiful!"
-Rev. Dr. Ulf Ekman
"Don't mistake the channel for your opportunity."
-Rev. Dr. Ulf Ekman
= not every door opened is the right opportunity door.
-~-
enough of all that..
time to study!!
You won! 7:23 PM
To all my beautiful friends and families.... You are what you worth!! Take heart!!!
To my guy frens, show this to all the amazing ladies that you know so that they will know their worth...
One Flaw In Women
By the time the Lord made woman,
He was into his sixth day of working overtime.
An angel appeared and said,
"Why are you spending so much time on this one?"
And the Lord answered, "Have you seen my spec sheet on her?
She has to be completely washable, but not plastic,
have over 200 movable parts, all replaceable
and able to run on diet coke and leftovers,
have a lap that can hold four children at one time,
have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart
and she will do everything with only two hands."
The angel was astounded at the requirements.
"Only two hands!? No way!
And that's just on the standard model?
at's too much work for one day.
Wait until tomorrow to finish."But I won't," the Lord protested."
I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart.
She already heals herself when she is sick
AND can work 18 hour days."
The angel moved closer and touched the woman.
"But you have made her so soft, Lord."
"She is soft," the Lord agreed,
"but I have also made her tough.
You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish."
"Will she be able to think?", asked the angel.
The Lord replied,
"Not only will she be able to think,
she will be able to reason and negotiate."
The angel then noticed something,
and reaching out, touched the woman's cheek.
"Oops, it looks like you have a leak in this model.
I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one."
"That's not a leak,"
the Lord corrected,
"that's a tear!"
"What's the tear for?" the angel asked.
The Lord said, "The
tear is her way of expressing her joy,
her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love,
her loneliness, her grief and her pride."
The angel was impressed.
"You are a genius, Lord.
You thought of everything!
Woman is truly amazing."
And she is!
Women have strengths that amaze men.
They bear hardships and they carry burdens,
but they hold happiness,
love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy
and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up to injustice.
They don't take "no" for an answer
when they believe there is a better solution.
They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel
and cheer when their friends get awards.
They are happy when they hear about
a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member,
yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss
can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.
They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you
to show how much they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning.
They bring joy, hope and love.
They have compassion and ideals.
They give moral support to their family and friends.
Women have vital things to say and
everything to give.
HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,
IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.
8(eight) is a number of new beginings.
8th day begins a new week
8th note begins a new octave
today is a new begining in my life.
the begining of a new season.
the season of dryness is over.
now is the latter rain!
and its gonna be greater than the former rain!
I've let go of something major. For good.
and i'm believing God for things to be good!
What a magnificent presence there was in Pst Ulf's meeting!
My life had been dry till yesterday!
the church meeting atmosphere had been dry till this weekend!
Its a new begining for everyone of us.
and its totally not time to sit back and relax!
its time to pray for more rain!
and its time to harvest!!!
Saturday, February 25, 2006
I just finished my E-commerce exam today.
Went well, praise the Lord.
I could feel some marks flying away. ouch..
I'm totally not into the exam mood yet..
but anyway..
haha... i've 4 more papers coming up!
Principles of Marketing - mon
Financing International Trade - tue
Operations Management - thu
Accounting Application Analysis - fri
then it will be all over..
phew...
2 days of fun, rest and relaxation..
then i start my attachment in tuas on monday!
with company Winbiz International.
I'm looking forward!
It's gonna be great.
for the next 7 weeks i'll be working!!
i guess theres one week of hols after that,
then school starts again!
Yup... thats life...
another 3 terms of 1/2yr each,
then i'd be in army for 2 years.
after that, its my life..
my life to live it to my fullest..
at my hands..
will i be ready to take on that challenge?
well i guess i just have to start somewhere right..
God says:"I will never leave you nor forsake you"
Haha..
at least i have someone to hang on too
who will always be there for me,
and someone i can turn to anytime.
won't be that scary afterall lah har...
then yet another thing..
I'll be taking my grade 5 theory exam in 2 weeks time!
well, i dunno what to expect..
its my first time.. haha..
daring right..
i'll just try my best lah..
then after i pass..
i'd be thinking..
should i go on to grade 6?
probably i would..
till diploma...
then i'd go take grading for instruments..
drums? guitar? piano? keyboard?
and not to forget...
if possible, i still wanna get my pleasure seacraft and aircraft license..
and helicoptor one too..haha..
well..its not to difficult to get the boat one..
but talking about flying...
woo..really ex..
and its not easy man.. haha..
its just a dream alright...
anyways... engineering..
(engineering - society coins it as that, named it as such, but how to make things work? i think its just commonsense..made chim by inventoin of engineering theory.)
its really kinda in my blood..
i had this interdisciplinary moduule this term.
Man and machines. engineering stuff.
engines, gears, blah blah..
well..i had a test..
i finished it in 3mins, first to leave the class, and scored top in class.
then we had to build this lego robot.
i did the building, my groupmate did the programming..
and my teacher wants to keep our robot for future batch's demonstrations!
well..
haha..its just a sign..
i'm the home repairman..
fron young i've been fixing things that people have condemned due to malfunction.
hahaha...
My dad is an engineering diploma holder..
for me, i wonder if i'll ever use it in my career next time..
its totally more gifted than my music stuff..
serious..
another important thing to note...
i went to Expo for Rev. Dr. Ulf Ekman's service..
it was a time full of prophecy for our church.
its the first time since we moved to Expo that i felt God's presence in this way.
Lovely! Magnificient!
and really, its the first time in all Pst. Ulf's services that i totally was able to understand everything he said!
haha...cool..
he's actually a great preacher too!!
i'm on fire again!!
time to sleep..
take care everybody!
and yes my Dear daughter Eunice..
i'll wake u up tomorrow!!
we'll go running/jogging or maybe roller cycling!!
and have fun!!
haha!!
You won! 1:00 AM
Sunday, February 19, 2006
*yawn*
just came home from a real lovely wedding of my cousin.
It was a seaside wedding!
Just imagine!
okay, at least somewhere nearby. cos it rained..
it was originally planned to be at a grass patch just beside the waves and sand.
we had it at the lounge instead.
During the P&W of the Holy Matrimony, there was the presence of God..lovely
later, during the dinner..
there was this video..
about Gaston(the groom)..
from young.. then teenage years..
then one day when he walked pass..
she caught his eye!
next few times, he tried to get her phone number when she was eating at the foodcourt nearby..
first time she refused..
but the second time, she gave it to him rather unwillingly..
then they talked...
she wasnt really interested...
they took some time to get to know each other...
then one fine day, she finally agreed to a date..
at the night safari...
then Gaston took hold of lyyn's hand..
blah blah blah..
finally they're married..haha..
it was like really drama....
haha...
but i'm really happy for them
i got to know them last year..
really nice couple..
so far its the best wedding i've been to in my life..
cos it was all happy, well planned, everything went well.
there was this unexplainable joy that was there.
its like not cos u're happy kinda thing..
its really u know God is looking down at them and beaming from ear to ear.
u just can feel it!
the one other wedding that i really loved was that of Sis. Wendy.
Lovely...
Joyous...really jouyous...
they were almost skipping all their way down the isle out...
haha..
other weddings i've been to have been really boring..
in a way..
it was not that kinda joy..
it was very..
almost like they were all tired out..
it just feels different..
it was love.. a very worldly one i can feel..
it seemed like it was one which was more for selfish gain.
it wasnt really that all happy..
another thing i realised was also alcohol wasn't needed for people to feel happy.
little champagne was there..wine scarcely around..
but the whole dinner was joyous, merry, time of good relating..
first time i didn't over indulge in the food.
amazingly first time i returned home with a just-nice full stomach.
usually i'd be bloated..
just for the record though..haha..
it was just wonderful..
the love of God, presence of God was there..
and everything went smoothly..
everything went perfect..
this has made me make up my mind..
i must make sure i make my choices right..
if i cannot see God beaming from ear to ear on my wedding day..
i will not get married..
if i don't have His "zhu fu"..
my marriage will be in denial..in rebellion..
and i know i will never live a fulfilling married life..
it will be a suffering....
i'd rather have God..
and definitely of course, He will bring me the right person.
and i will know it.. cos He'll tell me..
Thanks Papa God!
Holy Matrimony
"you may now unveil your bride"
The candle thinggie..
Holy Communion
Bride and Groom with pal
dinner table deco
Chilli
The Hotel
3 Closest cousins.
Alright...thats all..
You won! 12:42 AM
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
something interesting i saw downstairs on sunday afternoon...
click to enlarge..
You won! 11:13 PM
This past week has been pretty stressful and quite down for me.
Some things happened..
I got to seeking God about it, and did the righteous thing..
By sunday, things were changed. Praise God.
and i learnt a valuable lesson.
Freedom and Responsibility.
I thought i knew it all, but it wasn't until i was participating that i realised it wasn't so.
I learnt about spiritual autonomy.
Spiritually u shouldn't be affected by whatever things that happened.
I also got back my passion to love, care and serve my fellow Cell members again.
It was thru the worship and altar call on sunday that i felt the strong tangible presence of God, strong as it used to be before.
That gave me the strength to stand up again.
It was also a divine thing that the moment i saw the book thru attributes e-blast email advertisement sometimes last week, i knew instantly in my heart i had to get it.
I got it thru God's divine arrangement and purchase of course.
I mean i wouldn't have bothered to queue in that super long queue that day,
neither would i have went back to attributes if there wasnt a delay.
It had just the very answers i had been searching for the past many years.
Now i truelly understand it well.
Another thing, today's Valentine's day!
thinkin of all the sweet, loving, mushy, lovey dovey stuffs
awww...
Wishing all those who have a date today, All the Best!
Few good advices:
Don't jio a cheapskate
Don't jio a habitual liar - u'll suffer..really
Don't jio a potential habitually physically abusive person
Don't jio a uncouth person - stinky mouth
Don't jio a immature guy - u're in for it.
Raise your own standards,
and make sure you're worthy of them yourself.
seems quite duh obvious u won't right?
ever heard of "Love is blind"?
i'm just trying to make u double check.
for your own good okay.
And to those who don't have a date to go out with, don't be sad.
Its also FRIENDSHIP DAY to all of us!
To all my friends,
Thanks for the friendship that we've shared through all these years.
Through my ups and downs you were there.
Happy Days are ahead,
Lets continue to look forward with great expectancy of a great future,
and lets live it out a life worth living for!
side by side
unity is our strength!
-those working for psle, all the way!
-those working for olvls, u can do it!
-those working for alvls, blaze it!
You can do all things thru Christ who Strengthens you!
those coming to Ngee Ann Poly! Welcome!
looking forward to see u there!
i'll be leaving soon though..
the rest going elsewhere to Sec sch's, JC's, Poly's..
All the best!
I'll be here for you!
Special thanks to:
Beeleng - i was moulded to be who i am today thru you.
Jaslin - i knew God so much more experientially cos of the inspiration you gave me.
Winnie - your wisdom amazes me. your grace and love for people impacted me.
YeeShian - for tagging to cheer me on for my exams
Farrah - for being accepting and secure of yourself all along
Melissa - for being a loyal fan of my blog and a great friend
Ken - one of my most loyal friends, inspired me in drums.
Jephthah - your faithfullneess, practicality, and courage amazes me.
Kaikee - your heart of compassion for others is a gift just as art is to you
Angela - your desire to know more, perseverance and boldness is exceeing expectations
MiN - personally its a joy always when you're around!
Everybody else - if i were to list all, this blog will never have an end..
Rock on!
Thank You!
Saturday, February 11, 2006
hi everybody...
schools kinda ended for me..
just exams to go..
in about 2 weeks time..
recently...
i've been clearing up my projects..
well..things have been rather up & down...
You won! 6:00 PM
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
hey..
to all those guys out there getting your O level results this friday...
All the best!!
Dont get all worried yet..
enjoy your last 3 days..
you never know wad it will be after that man..
lol...jk jk..
get worried only on the night before..
haha!!
Wish you all the best again!!
you will do well..
choose your schools wisely!!
and if u dunno where to go,
join me in ngee ann!
You won! 12:52 PM
Sunday, February 05, 2006
okay..lets start with reunion dinner.
i helped with the cooking..
by the time dinner was served, i was already 3/4 full.
it just took 1 small bowl of rice and some japanese chicken to fill me up.
Lao Yu Sheng
i din really get to lao..
cos i was taking this picture..
and when i put my chopsticks into the crowd,
they immediately collided with someone elses and landed in the dish.
i only managed to salvage it after the laoing was over.
well..but i'm still in the picture anyway..behind..
and boy...look how happy their faces are!
first time catching my grandma so happy on camera.
New year's day..
outside my grandma's house, i got to take a pic of my first home.
its that point block on the right of the pic.
the tallest one on the right side.
thats 25 storey. i stayed 25th floor.
cool!
not really..
cos evening sun shines right into all your house..
and afternoon sun heats up your poor roof above your head..
it isnt too quiet too.
they built a temple somewhere nearby which went..
"dong..dong..chang.." till super late at night..
so we left..
haha..
this is the Japanese chicken i was talking about..
YUMMY!!!
Here my daughter managed to link up my mp3 player with my dog..
Look at her cool stylo beautiful socks!!
well..this is Yolanda and Camille having nothing better to do while lying on my bed..
"chinese rojak" or "ngo hiang" they call it..
all u see in this picture,
was what my family of 4 ate for dinner on 3rd day of CNY
the foodcourt was so empty, and stall were half open, not to mention carpark of IMM.
thats not the point..
the point is..that sauce u see..
yah..its PINK..
man..so weird..
it tasted nothing special...
This is my music teacher..
how did she get so stressed?
easy..teach Isaac and I together, simultaneously..
its actully more comfortable to point at something on a surface with your middle finger while teacing.. it only it wasnt thought dirty by people and made it into a crude sign...
This was what i found in my fridge yesterday morning.
12 blocks of butter.
Eunice here, looks sad..
cos i ate all her BK golden coins and left only one for her..
And for the grand finalle..
I was building a online shop website for my school project..
man.. it was sure tough..
and i finished it after about 12hrs of putting the hand to the sickle.
i rushed to school after cell and arrived at 915pm.
soon the lights went off one by one at 1115.
by 1130 all the lights were out...
i was finishing up in the dark!
then a group of security guards came and said..it was time to leave!
well..3 mins grace and the project was completed!!
Praise the Lord!!
haha..i'm happy!!
wanna see the site..
click
HERE...
do sign up and in, and see the stuff up for "sale"...
haha..
You won! 1:03 AM
