Wednesday, February 07, 2007
It seemed like I've hit the end road.
3 more nights to my CMA exam.
The paper I failed horrendously last semester.
If I failed again this time, I'd be dismissed from school.
The exam covers all the chapters from 1 till the last.
So far, my combined score for both common tests this term is a borderline pass.
That leaves me with another 50% of the whole course in this Exam.
I felt hopeless, I felt helpless.
I didn't comprehend what was going on in the last few chapters.
And memories of the earlier chapters seem to have been erased.
I was about to pull my hair out before even trying.
I wondered how I made it this far.
Since young I was diagnosed with a learning problem.
I was almost always the last in class.
I didn't do my homework because I just couldn't understand in class earlier.
My results were all average.
But I always manage to get the better options at every other level.
Like streaming in Sec4, and business studies in Poly.
Then I remembered, I couldn't have done it all by myself.
But how did i manage it still? What was my attitude like towards studies?
I always look back at my golden days with God.
Those days I totally laid down my life and future into His hands.
But I once reasoned that in a practical world, the cares of life will soon catch up with me.
And started taking many things into my own hands.
I knew He had a plan, but I thought I knew better.
I didn't wait on Him, I didn't put my trust in Him.
I tried taking back my future from His hands.
And it's all been a mess.
It all started with liking a girl and doing things I blatantly knew was wrong.
Then came one after another. Cycle after cycle.
The enemy had it all planned out nicely.
But now I've seen enough to know what comes next.
And thats half the job done in getting back on track.
The other half's to be convicted and committed to change.
Of course, only with His help.
Wow. I ended up writing a story. haha.
Anyway, I decided to read the devotionals that I recieve in my mail every few days.
They come so fast that I let them pile for about 3 days to about 20 before i read them all in 1 shot.
I was wondering if it was of any use to someone desperate as me.
Right there, I found this. Hit right on the spot.
After reading, I was reminded how small I really am.
How without God I'm worthless and nothing.
And then I decided to lean on Jesus, and just let go.
If I put God first in my life, everything else will work out good.
He is in control of my life. I surrender.
I've been running from what He has planned for me, thinking that I knew better, and wanted my own freedom so life would be more interesting.
It felt safer to control my own life.
But true freedom, rest, peace and hope is found in Jesus alone.
Only when I am obedient to Jesus, then I'm really free.
Just like towards parents. Try it. You'll find joy and freedom as you learn to obey.
Same for the authorities. Try rebelling against the law and you'll understand.
Laws and regulations are really set for people to be free.
People have always been wishing for a perfect world, but instead of obeying the Laws of the universe set by God, they fight and rebel to find freedom.
Do you feel free when there is war in your nation? or gangsters around that are being rebellious by doing anything they want to do? Wouldn't you be hiding at home and be living in fear everytime you go out?
Think about it.
My security is found in Jesus alone. :)
In Touch Daily Devotional by Dr. Charles Stanley
Friday February 2, 2007
Christ-Centered Confidence
2 Corinthians 3:1-6Confidently trusting the Lord brings many blessings. These include spiritual growth, personal achievement, peace, and influence.
When our reliance on God is steady, we will respond to difficulties by seeking Him for guidance and strength. In turn, we will experience the Holy Spirit’s presence, provision, and power and, as a result, spiritual growth. We’ll be capable of accomplishments far greater than imaginable when our assurance comes from the Lord. Perhaps we will demonstrate a depth of patience and endurance while everyone else is in an uproar; we might receive a leadership position beyond our perceived abilities; or we might find pleasure and success in doing an unfamiliar task.
When our security rests in God and we show conviction about His promises, peace follows. Our calm demeanor will waver, however, if we mix trusting Him with relying on ourselves. Others will take notice when they observe that God inspired our confidence. As they watch us achieve in unexpected ways, grow spiritually, or exhibit inner peace, they will want what we have, and we can influence them for Christ.
We build confidence in God by meditating on His Word, knowing who He is, and drawing near to Him through prayer. But we can lose our confidence by focusing on circumstances rather than Jesus; by allowing unconfessed sin in our lives; and by heeding worldly advice.
What do your actions reveal about you: Christ-centered confidence or self-reliance? What steps will you take to deepen your belief in Him? The Lord is always worthy of our trust (Revelation 5:12).
Alright, thats all for tonight. Time to sleep. zzz
You won! 3:32 AM
