PSP

Monday, February 19, 2007

Happy new year!

This year there wasnt much of a new year mood until maybe new years eve.

The day passed pretty fast too.

I wonder why.

Looking back at some pictures I took, seems like it was a repeat of last year.

Pretty much, just that there are more new couples, more married couples, more babies and little kids running around.

And a simple count and comparison showing that few more of my senior relatives getting diseased and feeble. It wasn't many years ago when I remembered they were aggressively debating issues over glasses of beer. Now they just sit in a corner quietly and blend into the wall.

Does new year really bring joy? or does it just amplify the agony for some people. People that have had a bad year, and almost no relatives notice them during reunion. Or unsure about how to present their feeble sickly state to the rest of the relatives only to repeat their condition verbally in compassion everytime they see someone, and this might not be the first year they've asked. And not to forget, forget it until 365 days later, or at a funeral.

Sometimes I wonder if they have any true friends to be there for them during these times? or are they just suffering quietly on the inside and struggling to survive. Who then will listen to them? who then will help them?

Somehow they seem to appear safe and sound again every year. What are they living for? is there something they're looking for that no matter how hard they try or long they wait they still can't find? what is the meaning of life? do they live a happy life?

Oh well, I guess one very important key is about money. There are 2 kinds of givers and 2 kind of recievers.
Lets talk about the recievers first.
When you recieve a generous gift, you'll be happy. probably.
But really, the difference is about how you view the gift. If you're over calculative and keep complaining about what you should have gotten or who should have given more, then you might be missing the real point. This is the sulky reciever.
The happy reciever is different. He see's the money as tokens of love from the giver. A token reresenting joy and happiness.

Then the givers.
One giver gives out of neccesity. This giver will check the amount that was given to their children, get the average amount and return it exactly. Missing the point of giving altogether. Or the he will strategise the giving to get an economic gain that season. These are often the aggressively competitive and bitter people.
The other giver looks at the people they're giving to, and his heart is overcomed with love. The precious ones they know in their life. Seeing the giving as sowing an investment into their future. The money might or might not last long, but the love lasts forever. The relationship strengthened and reinforced by the love lasts a lifetime and leaves a legacy for many others to come.

I've seen and observed. While also personally looking for true fulfillment and happiness in relationships, I've realised that this pattern works.

Stingy and calculative people, who don't see the significance and meaning in the money end up sad people. And they potentially make others sad too, or even defensive in the relationship. And when you cannot trust, you close up. Thats also when the closeness and intimacy of relationships start to detiorate. Many people say trust is the foundation to relationships. But not remembering that their actions in fact also do speak louder than words. Ask yourself, which makes you happier? Money or relationship?

I've had relatives over the years, that I know spend big money on betting, gambling and lotteries. They brag about lottery numbers, lucky strikes, big winnings. When it comes to cny, their adorned in gold or the newest gadgets, dressed in the best clothing, but with gifts of love often come with an insincere phrase "happy new year", weak handshake and 1 second of eye contact before handing you a red packet while looking to the next person. Inside, it's also a gift that is half dead.
Today, they are looking miserly as ever, sad as ever, biased and proud as ever. Where is the place of relationships in their life? compared to money? I wonder if their friends are friends just because of the money. What about their ways of getting the money? Were people counted of as less value than profits?

Then I saw another side, close to home. One of my uncle, the sole breadwinner of his family, suffered a stroke 2yrs ago and hasn't been able to work since. But his brothers have been generously supporting him financially every month. Look at this family this year. You see the true joy and happiness in everyone. You feel the gratefulness or relationships in the air. Everybody's somehow knitted together even tighter than before because of the giving. A family that seemed to be falling apart once, is now restored, and comes together in even bigger numbers, thats sheer power.

Another real example here.
On the other side of my relatives, it has always been the custom to give only $4 standard. It has been ever since I was born I guess. The kids knew what to expect, and weren't very thrilled. It was the same and boring things and food every year. Then one year, I decided it was time for a breakthrough. I knew that if I could break the tradition and make people give more, they will be blessed too. with happiness, and of course, what you sow is what you reap. A generous heart will be made rich. So 2 years ago, I managed to talk my parents into giving $6 or $8 per person instead. It was an awkward situation for us when they realised we gave more than the others. But I was confident that the seed sown would eventualy bring forth fruits in the future.
True enough, things changed alot this year. All the families seem to have become richer. Judging from their dressing, their new furniture, their increased frequency of smiles, everybody seems happier. Both the recievers and the givers. The angpow dollar has been upped, no doubt, but what was reaped above that? The joy and happiness in the relationships, not of casual friends, but of relatives, of whom are blood related and what I call My Family.
Oh, not to mention, the food too tasted much better this year! yum yum. everything! haha.

Some verses.
Mark 8:36
For what shall it profit a man if he shall gain the whole world and lose his own soul?

Pro 15:27
He who is greedy for gain troubles his own house, but he who hates bribes shall live.

Pro 22:1
A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches; and loving favor rather than silver or gold.

And there's one of my favourite verses that I can't remember where it is. But I remember that it says to use the riches God has put into your hands as a tool to bless others. something like that. Haha.

Phew, it's been a long post, and a long day.
I shall end off with some pictures.

Preparations for the steamboat reunion dinner.

See all the happy faces?

More..haha

Ahh..look at that...

Muahaha. alright..its just sparkling juice.

Lao Yu Sen. thats my sis! haha.

Then the next morning, again.

Lao ah lao ah..

hahaha

Ahh..see that block in the middle? thats where I lived from 0yrs old till about 8yrs old. Fond memories of that place. It was the 25th floor. the top floor. unit on the right. cool eh? I would be able to see malaysia's mountains from my kitchen window.Wow. I just realised, it is almost 2 times the height above the other older blocks. even the newer blocks aren't as tall.

Here's my little cousin, Joyden. Amused by balloons this year. And my uncle has already secured a place for him under David's drum instruction in the future. haha.

Look! ballet poses come natural. hahaha.

Alright thats all..happy new year once again.. I'm tired..zzz

You won! 1:15 AM